Table 1 Example of data coding and analysis process

“I believe we hadn’t thought much about that, but we thought she should have breastmilk, at least.”

Obvious to give breastmilk

Be prepared

Shared responsibility for the feeding process

“We breastfed first and then we tube-fed /…/because he couldn’t suckle so much. I prepared all the breastmilk; heated that; and changed the nappy and put him to the breast. He had a lot of cords, oxygen, and things. It was paper journals too, to document everything, I took care of that too.”

Helped each other

Working together

“Actually, the biggest problem was when we decided that we should quit pumping, so to say…”

Decided together to stop milk expression

Share decisions

“[It is] Pretty usual that the milk production decreases after a couple of weeks, it happened both times for [wife’s name]. It’s kind of difficult to ask her to fight then. Because it interrupts the night pretty much, she must get up every third hour to pump and then find there is no output.”

Difficult to ask her to fight when there was no breastmilk

Supporting the partner

A long and demanding process

“The only advantage with the feeding tube was that we could feed her while she was sleeping. So that was an advantage during the night. We could just wake up by the clock, feed her, and go back to bed and she slept the whole time.”

Gavage feeding meant more sleep

Full-time work

“At the moment, yesterday and today, we try, for an intensive period, to breastfeed again.”

Tried breastfeeding again when home

A long process